Laid Off

In the back of our minds, we all knew he had it coming...

As of you know, Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LLNL, or more simple "The Lab") has been laying off a lot of people. When the new contract came into play, it was suddenly clear that it was running way over budget and the only logical way to avoid major problems was to fire a huge number of people. So far, I think there have been two lay-off events. The most recent one was this past week and it was based on a person's usefulness to current projects. My dad figured he had a 80% chance of being let go.

To ensure that the folks remaining on his projects would be set up for success, should he be fired, my dad worked in his lab every weekend for the last couple of months, finishing things up and synthesizing test materials. This sucked for Dave and me because we really wanted my dad to come up to Davis to hang out...and to help us on the house. (This isn't as selfish as it sounds--my dad loves sweat equity work.) He was supposed to come up with my mom for Mother's Day so we could celebrate and go on the cancer walk together. At the very last minute he had to call and cancel because he felt he had to get more work done at The Lab.

This past Friday I called my dad for advice on choosing a pressure regulator for my vegetable garden irrigation system. He wasn't there so I left a voicemail, not sure he'd even get it. I half-assumed that he was away from his desk being laid off. The night before he'd stayed in his office until 1am clearing out all his personal stuff to take home. The only items he'd left were containers of coffee, sugar, his mug, and spoon--his absolute essentials. After he didn't return my call by the afternoon I called him again. This time he picked up. He sounded very grim. He'd just been visiting his supervisor (Chuck Stevens) down the hall where he'd mentioned that he needed to call me back. He told Chuck, "I have to return Julie's call, but I don't want to spoil her weekend with the bad news about the lay-off."

Then he told me: "It really sucks, but I wasn't laid off." My heart sank. Our whole family was hoping he'd be fired this time. He's so close to retirement (he'll be 60 in January) that it would have been perfect: because he's been there for over 20 years he'd get to work remotely for 4 more months with regular pay, then get 5 months of severance, then his retirement would kick in. There'd be no lapse in benefits, no monetary loss, but lots of extra time for him to do whatever he wants. (Specifically, to work on his own house and to come hang out with us in Davis.)

While I was chatting on the phone with him, Chuck came into his office. He asked to speak with me. "Hi Julie. I'm really sorry about your dad's job. I know you were hoping for a different outcome. But we just couldn't let him go." I giggled, and told him I understood. (What's to understand? My dad is invaluable to The Lab. He's actually had sponsors in DC who have said they'd only pay for a project if my dad were working on it. I guess I should have known he wouldn't get laid off.)

The problem with my dad is the he's just too smart: every girl will tell you that her own daddy is the smartest man in the world. Us daughters are programmed to look up to our fathers. It is probably a genetic thing to protect ourselves from the dangers of the world: being kidnapped, dating bad boys, not going attaining our highest potential in school, etc. Unlike other girls, I'm the only one who's right: my dad really is the smartest. Or at least int he top 10 Smartest Daddies Ever list. Ask anyone. If you have a problem, call my dad for advice. He'll be able to outline the problem you're having and offer not one, but three options, complete with all the pros and cons of each alternative. (When his friends call for advice, he'll answer the phone by saying "Hello, this is Acme Diversified Specialties. How can I help you?") My friends Steph and Justin Pearson are the only people I know who can claim that their dad is also on the SDE list.

The project manager that he's been working for lately does a lot of his actual lab work at UC Davis since it is way cheaper to pay folks here than pay all the administrative people AND the actual lab techs at The Lab (bureaucracy sucks). So if my dad had been laid off, his PM would have simply moved my dad to the UC--which is yet another reason being fired had so much appeal. (Dave and I always fantasize about my parents moving up to Davis so we could see them all the time. I was hoping that my professor would be able to hire my dad to work in my soils lab. But that isn't likely since my lab is funded by CalTrans and CA is knee-deep in a state-wide budget crisis...but really, whatever gets him to Davis is fine with me.)

But, darn it, he has to keep on working. The next lay-off event will probably be summer of 2009. There's no telling how the atmosphere at the lab will change by then (I mean, how productive can The Lab be after losing half it's scientists?). He may choose to retire in January or just work part-time. Until then, Dave and I are stuck working on our house alone, making lots of calls to the Home Improvement and to the Troubleshooting divisions of Acme Diversified Specialties.