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Thursday, May 9, 2013

Oh, Davis

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I will (or will not?) miss living in Davis.

Things I anticipate missing:
  1. Our relatively kid-safe cul-de-sac where Eddie can play without much worry of being hit by a car
  2. The neighbor kids and the countless hours Eddie spends playing with them outside
  3. The variety of grocery stores within walking/biking distance (the International market, stocked with Indian items; the Asian market; the food co-op; Trader Joe's with it's healthy convenience food; regular run-of-the-mill stores)
  4. Biking commuting to daycare and work/school
  5. Limitless internet bandwidth (at least seemingly limitless)
  6. Long growing season and fertile soil
  7. Antenna TV
  8. The tank top wearing weather
  9. Sidewalks
  10. (Relatively) short drive to my folks' house
  11. Seeing my friends and coworkers every day
  12. Not having to set aside time to exercise
  13. The park next door
  14. Talking about soils, chemistry, ag, and stats every day
  15. Cassie and Miss Amanda
  16. Lack of immediate judgement from random people who learn that my last name is Bower
  17. Being the only adult in the house (there's soooooooooo much to do and I could really use some help with all the chores and child rearing)
  18. Stores open past 8 pm
  19. Sushi
  20. Going to the movies (which, admittedly, we don't do often but knowing that we can go on a whim will be missed)
  21. Relatively plentiful college age baby sitters
  22. Unpaved, horizontal land right outside my door
  23. Home Depot, Costco, and Target being only 10 minutes away
  24. Constant cell phone service
  25. Twenty four hour medical care (ain't no urgent care or ER in Gualala)
  26. Chatting with random people who pass our house 
Things I anticipate not missing:
  1. The 100 F weather in the summer
  2. The hot, dry wind
  3. The dusty air
  4. Flies
  5. Having to keep the dogs on leash 
  6. Cleaning up dog poop
  7. Having to find appropriate places on our property where Eddie can dig in the dirt and make HUGE MESSES of mud and plant debris without making our suburban house look gross and unkempt
  8. Lack of trees for tire swings, tree houses, elaborate forts, etc.
  9. Buying fruit
  10. Single-handedly juggling Eddie, school, the dogs, and the house
  11. Gross, disgusting tap water (even after going through a Brita filter)
  12. Hauling fruit 3 hours by car to process it (apples, plums, cherries, tomatoes, blackberries, huckleberries, mushrooms)
  13. Being the only adult in the house (I want the chores and child rearing to be done my way, darnit!  And I want some privacy!)
  14. Being too hot while sleeping (hello cold sea breeze!)
  15. Cooking for two--it's so much harder than cooking for a larger group
  16. Having to close the curtains so passersby and neighbors can't see in our windows--at the Coast House this will not be a problem since there are no passersby and none/few of the neighbor's windows face our house
  17. Limited communication with Dave--Eddie and I sometimes only speak to him once a week via video chat, depending on his work/meeting schedule
  18. The nervousness I feel every time Dave is commuting on the curvy roads, which is always at night)
  19. High cost of childcare
  20. Not seeing Dave every day
  21. Having to count off the days until we next see Dadda to Eddie every.single.day
Things that go through my head on a daily basis:
  1. Holy crap...are we really moving?
  2. Yay!  We're moving!
  3. HOW AM I NOT DONE WITH MY DEGREE YET?!
  4. OMG we will NEVER be able to move out of this house in time!  We have soooooo much stuff and moving is going soooooooo slowly!
  5. I'm so proud of how much progress we've made moving using only the minivan and a small trailer so far!  Two rooms done in only...wait, 6 weeks?  Ug.
  6. Are we making a mistake by moving to the boonies?  Will Eddie suffer from the relative isolation? Would it be better for us as a family to force Dave to find a job near Davis so Eddie can grow up here? But then what job would I have to find in order to stay in suburbia, too?  If us parents are happier and more fulfilled, won't that translate into a happier childhood for Eddie?  Or won't it?
  7. I can't wait to move to where the air is dust free, where I'll never have to use AC again, and where it rains more than 10 times a year!!!!
  8. I don't want to move to a place where there's fog all summer and rain all winter, where it's too cold to wear tank tops or shorts, where I have to drive so much.  
  9. I can't believe I agreed to live in that monstrous, outdated, ridiculous Coast House...which I swore I would never, ever do.
  10. Eddie's gonna love it!  All the space to explore, dig, build, and camp! 
  11. Eddie's gonna hate it!  No neighbors next door to play with, all the driving on the coast roads,  living in a new house.
  12. We'll get to see Dave every.single.day. Every single day!  Multiple times a day!
Things I am thankful exist, because they will ease the feeling of isolation:
  1. The internet
  2. Amazon Prime
  3. NPR
********************

Dave and I were engaged during my last semester of college.  I remember sitting in my environmental econ class, waiting for the professor to begin lecturing and I glanced down at my (horrendous) emerald engagement ring on my hand. It was left to Dave by his late grandmother "Tutu" and was such an old lady ring.  I mean it: it even had a hinge to enlarge the band diameter to fit over an arthritic knuckle.  While I love(d) Dave, I didn't like the ring because it wasn't me or mine. It was a hand-me-down and we didn't have the money to replace or restyle it to something that reflected me.  As I contemplated the ring I thought, "What if being married to Dave is boring like this ring and nothing interesting happens for us?"  OH BOY.  Isn't that funny?  How boring my life was back then.  If only I knew what was in store for us. 

3 comments:

Leah Roy said...

I've been thinking about you guys! Moving is so exciting and scary (I imagine), especially doing it with a kiddo and 2 pups. Thankfully we haven't had to make a move yet, but I'm 100% certain Uncle Sam will change that eventually. I suppose the wonderful thing about moving anywhere that is BY CHOICE, is that you can always move back?? I'm sure life will be great on the coast, but if in a few years you guys find you'd be happier elsewhere you could always move...again. Just trying to look at the silver lining, aside from the fact that you get to see your hubby everyday!! Woohoo!!

steph.kelley said...

You are a treasure. These lists are wonderful -- good that you wrote them down for posterity. Your list of "daily things" made me laugh out loud! Totally reasonable thoughts and second-thoughts. For what it's worth, I think it's highly significant that so many of the things you're looking forward to are a life with DAVE -- sounds like you will have a great time together. Also, for some windbag soapboxing that may be not useful at all, I thought I would miss 24-hour Safeways and such, but it turns out to be pretty easy to mold one's life into a slightly (slightly, I said!) new shape. You guys will do great. The great coastal outdoors seems like just the right fit for your outdoorsy fam. Power to ya! xoxoxoxo

Ms. said...

having a dad around as much as possible always trumps I think ( I used to think when we got to move to cali 'oh fly out once a month it will be worth it') false. I would rather live in boonies-that says a lot for me. And nope it will be aweseome. Give it 3 years for sure.
ITs good to do things you said you'd never do.
YOu are awesome and happy mothers day early!