Blog Archive

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Do you ever wake up and think, is this really my life?

Last week I woke up and realized that I drive a minivan.  A minivan.  As in soccer mom.  As in suburban mom. As in mom-of-several-and-therefore-needs-a-vehicle-with-7-seats. As in mom. I still can't believe we have a child!  I still feel like a child myself.  But I guess children don't have mortgages, life insurance policies, or Google calendar reminders about when their IUD is about to expire.
It's like I just realized that I'm one of those people who needs a big car because I have a lot of stuff to haul around.  Dogs, a child, Costco-sized purchases. And of course when I go visit my husband I have to bring all that stuff and those people with me.  Oy.
Does a more complicated life require a bigger vehicle?  If so, is there a smaller car in my future?
With major life changes facing me, I've been thinking about our life, our stuff.  What would I run out to replace immediately if our house burned down and we lost all our possessions?  The answer is my kitchen items since I use them all the time.  Everything else that could actually be replaced by spending money (not family pictures or other momentos)?  Well, I'm not sure how much I'd actually worry about it.  That being said, I can't seem to reduce the stuff in our lives.  I've thought about our move and the shear volume of things we'll have to pack and transport.  It's a lot!  Books, kitchen appliances, pantry food, a workshop full of tools, hardware, machines, furniture, clothing and linens, leisure items (bikes, boat, patio furnishings), potted plants........eeeeeeeeeee!

I envisions this: in June 2013 we will move from Davis to Gualala.  By living as a complete family for the first time ever, my life will be easier.  Not less complicated, because let's be honest, I don't do uncomplicated very well...just easier.  Maybe 'easier' isn't the right word.  More enjoyable?  But I think I enjoy my life pretty fully.  Maybe 'complete' is the word I'm looking for: Husband/Father + Wife/Mama + Child + Beloved Pets = shared meals, shared experiences, shared bed, shared responsibility.  I'm hoping complete is synonymous with comfortable.  And I hope I'm not being naive about my vision/expectations.

Realistically, most of the parenting responsibility will still probably fall on me since I will work part time for a while.  And Dave's employer will probably try to treat Dave's presence in Gualala on weekends as extra work time (which is soooooooooooooooooo not going to happen, unless it's an emergency).  And then you throw in the possibility of another child or two and all the complication that will definitely bring to the table  (timing, juggling more rambunctious kids, cost of medical insurance, adoption applications and payment, etc.).  Oh boy, I better get ready.

It's a good thing to stand back and evaluate your life once in a while.   And it's also a good thing to just accept things as they are for the time being and go treat yourself to a cup of coffee and a cookie...which is exactly what I'm going to do right now.  And while I sip my cuppa I'll dream about the Julie-and-Dave-only Kauai vacation we just booked for December.  I can't wait!


Kaitlin said...

Ahh...I hope you do get that 'complete'. Also, I hope you more than enjoy your Kauai vacation!!!!!!!!

Johnson Family said...

I love everything about this post. Especially the last line. Life is very good, Julie, and you sure to make the best of what it throws at you. I'm honored to call you a friend! Even if you do have "stuff"...we ALL do :)

Mariah said...

december! woo for you guys. And gosh I had that moment too of like...really? this is what I do now? I am almost THIRTY! 28 is close to 30 and all that grown up stuff

Justin said...

You write so well. I'm glad there's a light at the end of the tunnel when your family will be co-located. We should swap notes some time about "stuff": I'm on the other side of the spectrum -- the minimalist who moves yearly and fits everything in his car. Even more extreme is my coworker, who keeps his stuff to a minimum in case he wakes up one morning with a burning desire to spontaneously pack up and move into a log cabin in Alaska. For someone who has so much stuff, you have a very good attitude about what to value. And given how self-sufficient you are, I bet you actually use it. So it's at least functional stuff -- the Martian in me is satisfied.